Dipping my toes in...

It has been almost 2 years since blogging was a regular part of my life.  So many mundane and memorable things happened in those 2 years--I hope to remember them even without a trusty blog. Lately I have spent a lot of time analyzing what blogging does for me and wondering if I can make it a part of my life again. Time is precious and as my kids grow and life gets continually more busy I am ever so careful about long term commitments that take my time. The decisions I make directly affect my whole family and I feel the weight of that. But the more I consider this option the more I see why I need to blog and why my family will benefit from the record keeping and the outlet that it provides for me.  Life is a trade off so I understand that something else will get sacrificed to make space for this, but I am so excited for how this blogging thing changes me as a mother and a person. I love reading the simple stories that are recorded (and would otherwise be forgotten). I love how I can see my own growth of character as I write about my struggles and triumphs.   Most importantly I love how blogging makes me acutely aware of the good & happy moments in life. It's magical!  

Last month I gathered with a group of friends and we discussed an article written by Catherine Arveseth, a mother of 5 young children.  In it, she talked about how it is so easy to live life in the past and in the future--always troubled about what happened or preparing for what is coming up next. The swirling chaos never seems to halt.  That feeling resonated with me and I knew immediately I would regret being stuck in the midst of that chaos someday.  I knew I was missing something that I need.  For some, finding joy in life comes more easily than others (no matter their role).  Finding joy is not a gift I have, but I know that it is a skill I can get better at.  Motherhood is the primary role that I have chosen to experience these years of my life through, and I am determined to develop this skill so that I don't have to regret merely surviving the demands and chaos.  I want to feel joy and wonder and gratitude at the blessing it is to raise little people and influence their lives.  As I considered how I could make a big change to the way I experience life right now, blogging is the answer I have landed on.  Having a reason to notice the present makes me happier. I slow down. I take pictures. I smile and laugh when I would normally despair and cry!

I know blogging is no longer the "in" thing that everyone does and I have all sorts of doubts...like...will I fail?  While I have decided to keep things public, I have no grand schemes to solicit a large audience.  I blog for myself and my family.  But the possibility of an audience makes me feel accountable.  I have found every excuse for weeks now to not kick things off.  I need to update the header, write a summary of 2 years, find cute pictures of everyone and get them downloaded to the right computer, think of something fun to say.  But then I realized, this isn't about perfection.  So I found 15 minutes of (almost) quiet and that's enough.  Ready or not I'm back!