A Moment in my Mother's shoes!

I remember my mom saying to me..."just you wait until you are a mom" or "when you're a mom you can do it however you want!"

Funny how now that I'm that mom, I think incredibly like my mom did back then!

This is Taffy's mom...and Taffy is in that pile of puppies somewhere!

Taffy was a puppy we got when I was 6 or 7 years old. We had moved to England the year before and lived out in the country with a huge backyard.

Of course with 4 kids under 8, I'm confident that we did the fun cuddling and playing and mom did the hard puppy work.

When they gave her back to the dog farm a year later I couldn't seem to understand but of course I wasn't the one that...

-had baby #5 two months after adding a puppy to the chaos!

-had to house train a high energy puppy while potty training a 2 year old and holding a newborn!

-had my house destroyed time and time again!

-cried after my dog ate half of a beautiful cake I had spent all day making for Valentines day!

-cleaned up throw up in the back of the station wagon every time we had to take the dog somewhere in the car! (I still remember the smell!)

-if we chose not to take Taffy with us (like on one of the three 1 hour round trips into town each day for school runs) we had to risk the evil neighbors coming and beating her to death! Seriously, these neighbors--the Mulligans--were out of a movie! They hated Taffy!

Those are just a few of the things I remember...I'm sure mom could write her own book to rival Marley & Me!

Our family was probably a bad fit right from the start--just not enough time and energy to devote to a dog with so much energy and enthusiasm. But from my little 7 year old heart, giving Taffy back was like giving up one of my siblings. I'm quite sure my vocal little self didn't hesitate to let my mom know how mean I thought she was. I'm quite certain I made many emotional and cruel accusations as I fought for Taffy to stay. I can just hear myself saying "would you get rid of me?!"

For that...I'm truly sorry mom. Your efforts to succeed with Taffy were more valiant than I can imagine! I will hold onto the hope that as my children scream bitterly at me someday...that 25 years later we'll see eye to eye and I may even get an apology!

This brings me to a confession...

I now have my own 6 year old daughter. And of course, she desperately wants a dog. She is even giving up some of her toys for our future "dog Messick."

Laugh, mom, laugh! I deserve it!

I feel the need to justify and explain the long and painful path that has led us to our current search for the perfect dog for our family....because I know what most of you are thinking!

• I don't pretend to even begin to understand Hayley's passion for animals or her need to connect with non-human life. I thought I loved dogs as a girl but as an adult I must admit there is not one bit of attraction towards dogs left in me! As my Mom used to say "I raise children not dogs!" When a dog comes up to me I have to fight the urge to put my hand in my pocket...pet a dog?!?! Yuck!

• Ryan and I have held a united front for years on this issue. We have all the reasons clearly down pat and regularly go through our arguments against and Hayley's arguments for a dog.
  
• One big argument is the size of our house...someday when we get a bigger house with a bigger yard we'll think about it. But in the current housing market situation (we're stuck!) Hayley may have her own 6 year old by the time that happens!
  
• The arguments coming from the 6 year old gallery have intensified in recent months. I thought they'd play out like they always have before. We'd fight the battle over and over until it eventually subsided for a while. But in the heat of one battle Ryan quietly admitted to me that he "kinda wanted a dog too." I knew from that moment that I was toast!

But I take full responsibility. I realize that this dog will fall into my care more than anyone else's so I better be on board. I started finding all the pros of having a dog...it was hard at first.

For now we'll say at the top of the list is a hope that this will fill a need for Hayley and maybe help ground her in a way that we aren't able to...if you know Hayley well, you may understand that...if not, trust me--after all, I'm the mom! I guess it's amazing what you'll do for your kids!

So for the past month we have spent countless hours pouring over breed books and learning all sorts about temperament testing. This past week we began visiting local animal shelters and today we spent several hours at adoption events. Our goal is to get a dog with a calm temperament that isn't a puppy (although those puppies are so dang cute!!!) It's a little adictive and somewhat fun but overwhelming to hand-pick our next family member.

We bore our friends constantly with our "dog talk" right now. But if you care two cents about dogs and want to know: breeds we've considered seriously but that are ruled out at this point are beagles and king charles spaniels. Our current favorite is yellow labradors (larger than we first wanted but with the right child-friendly and potential obedience qualities). We're open to advice on breed and temperament!

What do the kids think about this new pursuit?

-Hayley: has been surprisingly patient with what a long process this is. She asks regularly if "we're ever going to get a dog!" She also begs to do chores constantly to save money up for our dog. I have to be honest...it's wearing me out to have to come up with chores for her all the time but I'm glad that she's willing to work for a dog.

-Maya: just wants a "sweet" dog. To her "sweet" dogs come when you call them and don't bite. She fell in love with a little Chihuahua at the shelter and even though we told her someone else was going to get that dog she now wants to name whatever dog we get "Chihuahua" and with the cute way she says it I could almost agree.

-Alice: thinks she's in heaven getting licked by dogs. She gets so excited to go see all these dogs and isn't the least bit scared or intimidated.

Where am I in this process???

Surprisingly excited. As we meet new dogs I find myself really trying to get to know them. I even pet them for long periods of time (thankgoodness for hand sanitizer when we get back to the van!) I think dogs, imagine a dog in my life, and even dream about dogs right now. Part of me wants to hurry up and find one so I can get on with other stuff! (whatever...I'll be training and cleaning up after a dog from here on out!)

When we first started these discussions I dreaded having another body in my house all the time...but now I am actually looking forward to the potential companionship. So hopefully this is a good sign. Now if I could just stop getting emotionally attached to dogs that other people end up getting this would be so much easier. But hopefully we'll have an exciting announcement in the next month or so...